Relationship compatibility is more important than just finding the ideal love of your life
Although love is a major element in any relationship, it is definitely not the sole criteria for a successful one. A couple leading separate lives may fall in love but when living together, if they lack compatibility, would love be strong enough to keep them together? Would it be enough to neutralize the constant arguments and problems arising from a clash of lifestyles?
Take a look at how one relationship expert shares three examples of what relationship compatibility is all about.
According to this author, her friend Rita is 42 and has long slender fingers. She’s a strong smoker, swears a lot with foul language and isn’t afraid to die. Rita is a two Dan Aikido blackbelt. Her husband on the other hand is 9 years her junior. He is a successful architect working in a high profile construction firm.
Rita’s husband is extremely handsome and loves to bake the most delicious cakes. He composes fairytales for her twins who are one year old. He even tucks them into bed when she works late. When Rita is too tired, he gets up at night to tend to the kids. So which exactly is a better showcase of love, compatibility that brings with it understanding and compromise or romancing you under the moon and then snoring afterwards leaving you awake to see to your children.
The author’s other friend is Kathryn a FEMA psychologist. She had actively participated in relief work during 9/11. Her husband a military surgeon died in active service 12 years later. She married a cameraman Bill last year. Bill was a friend who had worked alongside her during 9/11.
Bill took leave from work to spend time with Kathryn. He was at her side nursing her back to health when she had an accident and was invalid for six months. He supplemented his income by doing part time wedding photography. Bill is a loving husband and shares a good rapport with her son who calls him “dad”. Bill enjoys every moment of his life with Kathryn and is equally excited about his stepson participating in the International Physics Olympiad. This is what relationship compatibility is all about.
The third example is another friend and philosophy professor Mary. Her husband isn’t a university graduate but he is good working with his hands. He not only built Mary a house, he cooks and takes care of her children whom he adores. He ensures Mary isn’t disturbed whenever she needs to focus on an upcoming lecture.
Mary is a workaholic obsessed with her career and plans on spending a year’s internship in China. Mary’s husband is obsessed with her and though he may not know who Hegel is he certainly knows her shoe size and will never forget to replace her car tires. One small point of mention is that despite of doing all the work, he is a millionaire and the owner of a leading woodwork machinery manufacturing business.
4 Compatibility is compromise
This author finds it amusing when people exclaim how a woman needs to possess certain qualities to find the ideal man. According to her, you don’t need to be an ideal woman, you just need to be yourself and the perfect man is one who is compatible enough to coexist alongside your own lifestyle and still be happy. It reflects that one line promised by many in marriage but never really adhered to “for better or for worse’.
There is a lid for every pot and relationship compatibility means allowing each other to be whoever they want to be. A true relationship is when either partner doesn’t need to be afraid of retaining their own individuality.
Having to change for a partner isn’t compromise where ones identity is lost in a relationship. Two people existing side by side amicably as two different characters, that’s what compatibility is all about.