Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Argue With People
Sometimes people can get on your nerves and can irritate you and you would rather tell them where they stand or simply argue with them in order to change their perspective, but the following reasons are good enough to make you stop right there. First you would spare yourself from bad emotions, grudges and ruining good relations with people.
1 Arguing reinforces the conflict
Arguments never help people to solve a problem or reach a compromise. Arguments always implicate tension and reciprocal irritation, which aggravates misunderstanding between the parties and turn things into great problems. We should use our words wisely and reasonably to avoid criticism and offences. Try to take control over your emotions and turn the dispute into a constructive, meaningful and intimate conversation.
2 You cannot argue about feelings
People cannot be right or wrong if they feel certain way. Your feelings and thoughts are exceptionally your own business. That’s why when someone is trying to say that your feelings make no sense or that you are too sensitive, just avoid explaining yourself or change the topic. It is silly and useless to argue over this, so why not sparing yourself and the other person.
3 Why convincing people?
In most cases the matter isn’t important enough and nothing will change no matter what the outcome of the dispute is. After all, people have a right to their own opinion, even if you don’t accept it. Beware, a dialog is different from an argument, so if you want to express your attitude and opinion don’t go into arguing with the other person. But when a discussion turns into an argument, people are unable to hear each other because they’re angry and defensive.
4 It’s no use to argue about the past
Whenever you argue with your partner, parents or friends about the past, it is always terribly toxic for your relationship. Women are eager to relate to the issues of previous years, which is completely wrong and dishonest. You cannot reproach people for what they did wrong months and years ago. Try to understand that what’s done is done and life goes on. Remember to touch upon the issues that happened within the previous several weeks only.
5 Put yourself in your opponent’s shoes
It really helps when you want to solve a problem and come to a conclusion. This method helps to see the situation from your opponent’s side and realize his motives. Moreover, it helps you to hear and understand your counterpart. Due to this trick most of the conflicts and arguments can end up with calm discussions.
6 Winning an argument and being right are two different things
Sometimes you are wrong and with time you will learn to admit it. It’s very difficult to confess that you did something wrong or that you was mistaken. Learning to keep your pride and temper tamed will help you to avoid many conflicts.
7 People’s imperfections are a normal thing
While some people are positive and peaceful by nature, others have explosive temper and are eager to fight and usually end up in a conflict.. There is no sense in fighting with people who are likely to argue against everything, and whose main reason in life is to prove others wrong. To avoid disputes and arguments, try to limit your communication with high conflict people.
8 Uncontrolled arguing can quickly develop into insulting
When two parties are having a fierce argument, it’s very easy to lose control over emotions and start criticizing negatively their whole personalities. But whenever you have a conflict, you should speak only about the actual deeds and behavior, but not about the person in general (even though the line is very thin when we are pissed off). For example, if your co-worker fails to finish things on time and you say something like ‘You’re so irresponsible and careless!’ you are already describing them as a person and you are attacking their personality. This is the quickest way to ruin your friendship, relationship or relations with your co-workers. Most people tend to take things personally, that’s why be careful with your criticism.
9 Always draw a conclusion
Try to realize that all the people you meet in your life are your teachers and you should be grateful for every lesson they teach you.