Why ’Bad’ Girls Are always Happier Than ‘Good’ Ones and What They Do to remain This Way
Since time immemorial girls have always been taught to be “good”. They are taught to be mild, gentle, patient and selfless. Putting others first and treating everyone with compassion is what makes a girl really good. They get social approval for their behaviors and are judged on the basis of their goodness. But in adulthood being good also means a lot of self-sacrifices, being humble and selfless to the extent of treated as a doormat. Jill Webber a psychologist from Washington confirms this by saying that in order to find proof of their goodness in adult life, women often harm their happiness. So should we be like bad girls who look to their own comfort and pleasure because there are advantages in that too. Bad girls on the other hand, break this social norm and think about making themselves happy first. They strive for their own comfort and pleasure ending up happier and content with life. Here’s how a “Bad” girl lives, so judge for yourself whether you should be like them or not.
1They leave meetings if people come late
A good woman sacrifices her precious time for others which is not wise. It makes you open to exploitation. For smart women, time is precious and thus they wait for no one and will make no one wait for her either because she values professionalism and time. Everyone here is out to make money and a name for themselves and if it’s a meeting at the office it reflects a chance to know and learn about your employer’s vision and expectations from you.
Keeping people waiting is a sign of disregard
If someone keeps you waiting, it simply means you are not considered with the same respect or regard which you deserve so therefore, you shouldn’t wait for them either and walk away gracefully. There is always a choice of rescheduling a meeting rather than keeping anyone waiting for you so you do not need to be guilty about it at all. According to psychologists, if a person is late for a meeting, they are subconsciously demonstrating that meetings aren’t the best way to spend time.
2They are not ashamed of indulging in their hobbies
A confident woman does not feel scared of indulging herself in her hobbies and small pleasures rather than keeping up the appearance of “proper” all the time. Maybe you do like to read a chic-literature sometimes watch or read Twilight and Harry Potter rather than watching and reading Shakespeare or having to appreciate some art masterpiece all the time.
There is nothing wrong with indulging in harmless fun
Indulging yourself in harmless fun is considered sensible behavior says research. It does not mean you are lowering your I.Q or standard of living. In fact, it boosts up your ability to maintain your perseverance in this very demanding society. A smart girl breaks the taboo around having fun and indulges herself in small daily pleasures without feeling guilty about it.
3They don’t suffer from unrequited love
It does not mean that assertive women do not get rejected ever in their romantic pursuits but they do not necessarily wallow in self-pity for long either. Our culture always teaches girls to be liked and approved by others to be considered “good”. According to scientists, this is the classic “girl” upbringing. This idea sticks in a girl’s head well into our adulthood and failure in love or refusal from men is seen as a sign of not having done their best. This often ends up in self- loathing and self-blame.
A bad girl does not allow refusal to keep her down
Instead, a pragmatic woman would accept it as a passing phase in her life and not lower her self-confidence in any manner. In fact, they would nurture themselves more to be healthy and happy which automatically makes them attractive to the world and opens doors for new romantic possibilities in life.
4 They sleep in
In almost every culture girls especially married ones are expected to get up earlier than others and be a good wife or mom by keeping the house ready for morning bustle. A good girl is always up early in the morning with breakfast ready for the family in a neat and clean house welcoming enough for others to start their day with vigor. Even if it means that she loses out on her crucial sleep hours which would preserve her health, mood, and wellbeing.
Exhausted partners don’t make a healthy relationship
It has been proven now that 2 hours of extra sleep in the morning increases our efficacy as well as boosts our mental wellbeing for the whole day. Women who prioritize and increase their sleep time are happier and healthier. Exhausted partners don’t thank each other very often which is worse than dirty dishes in the sink. Psychologists feel that marriages where both partners share the workload end up happier.
5They express their dissatisfaction right away
“Good girls” are taught to bottle up your resentment and anger inside so that it does not show on your face and you seem the epitome of agreeableness even when you are quaking with anger inside. Swallowing unfair remarks and offences nonchalantly is not a credit to be proud of, it’s just shows how much of a doormat you have become just in order to fit into the social stereotype of “good girl” on the other hand the fearless girls who break this taboo openly are not scared of voicing out their dissatisfaction and ready for a confrontation if needed. Postponing clarifying relationships, a person subconsciously starts avoiding people and situations that induce negative emotions. This creates more limits for you making you feel socially weak.
Know when to say NO
If you constantly avoid arguments and keep making compromises people will take advantage of your position. A “Bad girl” knows when to say NO and sets up boundaries which no one is allowed to cross. They are never scared to end toxic relationships for good without breaking a sweat.
6They are not afraid to upset their mom
A Michigan University research found that moms tend to worry more over daughters than sons because tradition has made the relationship between mom and daughter a closer one. However, this can transform into excess parental control when the child grows into an adult.
Respect your mom but don’t allow yourself to be dominated
As the years roll by a mother seem to be more protective of their daughters and may unintentionally start to micromanage her life as they did when they were little girls. This could be stifling the independence of a grown woman. Good girls painfully tolerate the interference lest they should hurt their mom. This is where the “proverbial bad girls” learns to politely put, their mothers in their rightful place. They make it clear that they do love and care about their mom but they would not let their opinion dictate their life choices and aren’t afraid of taking their mom’s wrath.
7They don’t complain about ungrateful children
The worst reasons to have children is to meet expectations ruled by the societal demands, to have someone to love you, for you to fit into society, meet others approval, give meaning to your life or worse still to get back with your ex. Good girls tend to their kids as pawns to manage their own broken lives which is not an ideal situation.
Raise kids to be independent
A “bad girl mom” has no false delusions about their motherhood. She raises her kids not to become her crutches in later life but to be independent, confident people who make something out of their own lives. Inadvertently the children become closer to their mothers for this.
8They don’t implement their ideas in perfect ways
Most of us have bold ideas and ambitions which may require breaking social norms. But the good girls” are too scared of failing and keep waiting for the right time and resources at their disposal when they can perfectly execute their plans. Alas, they have a long wait ahead of them. They keep postponing a project for the lack of finance, resources or a perfect opportunity to land their way which never comes.
Seize opportunities without fear
Whereas a “bad girls” seize the opportunity anyways and start off with their plans even if might end up a failure. A cheap mixer won’t stop a bad girl from wanting to cook a delicious dessert. They are not afraid of the uncertainties of life and take pride in their efforts towards achieving their goals without blaming the world how unfair it is and why they are deprived of the perfect career for their dreams. This long wait and blaming attitude leads to depression and low self-confidence whereas confident women strive for their goals bravely without thinking about the world’s censure of her plans for life. Sometimes it’s not as easy as simply deciding to take action, but being proactive when it comes to tackling your individual challenges, is the answer. You might need to visit somewhere like this Ayahuasca retreat in the Netherlands to get help and guidance on spiritual growth, or perhaps see a counsellor about a childhood trauma that is getting in the way of you achieving your goals. According to Olivia Remes of Cambridge University, it is better to derive the pleasure of building something instead of thinking how to complete it perfectly.
As you have now read, bad girls don’t mean literally wild things. They are instead the example of “baaad” in today’s world which translates to brave women who retain their self-respect and look towards their own happiness which in a way is the best way to make others happy too.