10 questions for someone who is religious and trying to digest the gay marriage
We have been witnessing the rainbow filter across people’s profile pictures on Facebook, as well as the plenty tweets buzzing about the US Supreme Court’s verdict to legalize gay marriage. People are celebrating over the social media showing their support to these minorities, who weren’t given what was rightfully theirs.
Homosexual relationships, let alone consummation of it in holy matrimony, have always been scrutinized and questioned, whether it is against how nature intended us to be. Now, with the verdict legally allowing people to marry partners of the same gender, some people are left in a confused state of mind. Confused? Well, how would a person who has been religious and had been doubtful about his/her stance in this issue, take the verdict? How should they react?
If you are dubious about this whole issue but are sure to uphold humanity superior to anything else you have encountered in life, then you should go through these questions only to understand the complexity of the situation.
As I am writing this, I cannot help but remember this line: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” – by Atticus Finch, from ‘To Kill a Mocking Bird.’
10 Let’s say you have something that you love more than anything in this world and it’s taken away from you. How do you feel?
Are you hurt? Do you let it go, or do you want to fight for it against all odds? Try to analyze what effect this has on you and if you can actually bear the pain of something so precious being snatched away from you.
Would you react the same way for someone else? Would you be able to empathize? What if it was a person being snatched away and not a thing, then? These questions are going to haunt you way more than they are supposed to.
9 What is the Golden Rule? Do you always abide by it?
Now, a lot of you must already know this. If not, a little research did no harm to anyone ever. Try to find what the Golden Rule is and to what extent do you stand by it.
How do you feel when someone is nice to you? Do you feel happy and privileged or you actually expect people to be nice to you all the time? Have you ever been rude to anyone? How does it feel if someone is being mean to you? Will you follow the Golden Rule? Ponder over it.
8 You have new neighbors; at first a man is walking along with his daughter and then you catch a glimpse of his spouse, who is also a man. Are you forming opinions already?
The moment you saw the man with his daughter walking across the neighbor lawn, you must have been happy and curious about the new neighbor, but does it change after you see his spouse? Will it affect your relationship with your partner and children?
What if it was just a regular man and woman couple? Would you befriend them immediately? Will you befriend this couple? And also let your kids play at their house? What do you think of promiscuity in gay marriages? Yeah, scratching your head already, are you?
7 What is marriage according to you?
A. social contract
B. something that has been there for a long time
C. A bond between two people filled with love, care, and friendship
(Whatever you choose, does it apply to couples of the same gender as well? If not, why?)
Is marriage actually that sacred? What are your opinions of divorce then? Is it okay for a couple to opt for divorce if they are not happy in their current state of marriage? Is it okay for them to marry again?
6 How do you feel about mixed race or people from different religions getting married?
Would you support a friend or an acquaintance to get married to someone who is not of his or her religion? What if your family doesn’t approve of this too?
What if you fall in love with someone from another religion and your parents are against it? Will you walk away from your parents? Or will you try to find a solution to keep everyone happy? Is gay marriage so wrong if they love each other? Do you think physical connection overpowers spiritual connection in gay marriages? If so, why?
5 Do you have a happy marriage? How does it feel to be that lucky?
Do you look forward to spending time with your spouse? Are you still in love with your spouse after many years? How do you feel when you see other couples as happy as you are? How does it feel when a couple is bickering and fighting in front of you?
What if you hit a rough patch with your spouse? Is divorce an option if things get really nasty? Is it okay to be separate and happy, than be together and miserable?
4 Do you really believe marriage has evolved since creation?
How has the institution of marriage changed? What is change according to you? Is it splitting chores amongst couples, or people of different religions getting married? Are you fine with that? If so, what do you think of gay marriage?
Then why do you think people are judging gay marriages? Have we actually evolved? Do we actually have an open mind to accept things that weren’t acceptable before?
3 Do you think the present generation is not religious enough?
What is religion according to you? Are you sure you are not confusing spirituality with religion? Do you think religion is dying for the younger generation? Why do you think that is, the reason for it? Do you think the church or other religious establishments can change their way of teaching to include the youngsters?
Don’t you think the younger generation does value relations as they work hard towards it; and if it doesn’t work out, they walk away so that they don’t hurt the other person and themselves too? Is loving yourself wrong?
2 Jennifer and Lyla are in love and are married for some time; you have known them to be good people and an amazing couple who love each other a lot. Jennifer meets with an accident and dies, who should inherit her property?
Are you sure? Do you want to think again? Are you absolutely sure of your answer and stand by it no matter what? Think about the Golden Rule and then answer.
If they are not legally recognized as a couple, then? Don’t you think it’s wrong to do away with someone’s love because it is considered “unnatural”? Have we actually moved forward or is it just a mirage?
1 What do you want to be remembered for by your grandchildren?
Do you want your grandchildren to respect you? Do you believe in the concept of legacy? If your grandkid doesn’t believe in something you can vouch for, would you become angry and defensive? What do you think of generation gap – myth or reality?
And lastly, after all these questions, one most important question! Why should one marry? Out of love or out of societal expectations and the usual norms? If two men or women are in love with each other, is it okay for them to marry? Does the saying “love conquers all” apply to this situation as well?
If you were able to answer all these questions from your conscience and not what you have learnt from others, you might have reached some conclusion regarding gay marriage and its acceptance through religious eyes. Share it with your friends and see what they have to say about it.