Signs that you are selfish but you don’t notice it
“It’s good to be selfish. But not so self-centered that you never listen to other people.” – Hugh Hefner
Being called selfish is a trait that no one else wants to be referred at. But, at some point, we may be possessing this negative value and not be aware of it. In this topic, we will discuss some signs in which one can tell the selfishness that lies within him—without actually noticing it.
First, explore your traits. Are you self-centered? Do you only care about your own well-being without even thinking what might be its effect to others? Then, think twice as the bud of selfishness is starting to grow. Of course, we are taught to look upon ourselves before others but we also take into consideration the aftermath if we do this all the time. The timing and situation varies and so we have to reconsider our attitude towards it.
2 Getting Mad Easily
Do you easily get mad without hearing other’s explanations/ side first? Are you good at nagging that it became your daily routine? Well, you might be developing that “S” syndrome. Naggers tend to listen only to the thoughts in their head. Usually, nagging is not just a form of depicting selfishness, rather, also a sign of weakness. Annoying someone with repeated questions, statements and requests is a symptom that we cannot handle our own issues that is why we tend to shadow them into someone else.
3 Working Alone
Picture this. In your workplace, you would rather work by yourself than with others. You hate teamwork and collaboration. You tend not to speak your ideas and keep them to yourself. Well, it might be a good idea for some as a defense in working in unison with your inner self without heeding the suggestions of everyone. But, if we look closely, the unwillingness to share their ideas and opinions, that does make someone selfish as well since you are only crediting yourself.
4 Choosing who you help is a sign of the dreadful trait
Yes—we are accustomed to helping those only we know about, those only who we are close chums at. We rarely think of those people we rejected of help. Ask yourselves, why? You might be thinking how you became selfish just because you did not help others. As a matter of fact, we should consider equality as a basis of helping.
5 You Hold Grudges
At one point or several times, some people will ask for our forgiveness and also, at that point, you accepted their apology. Then, after some time, you remember and tend lose trust and the relationship between you and that someone is compromised. We may not be fully aware of it but we still hold that anger or pain that was once caused by that certain person. It is a sign of being selfish since we allow that person to think that everything is okay well in fact, you yourself is not okay with it.
6 You are possessive
Yes, possessive in almost everything, material things, and affections or whatever you call it. You tend not to have your partner explore what he/she may think what’s best for them. You even decide for them and control their lives unknowingly. The fact saying that we cannot live without them is a sign of selfishness. Self-worth is measured through continuous growth and development and also, by allowing others to perform things their own rules and way. Interfering with other’s business all the time is not a very healthy perspective.
7 Paranoia is a sign you are unaware that you are selfish
Being paranoid is a path to dark places which may lead to an unhealthy relationship to family, friends and significant other. If we are paranoid at all times, we tend to lose trust and that person whom we lost our trust will do everything beyond their capacity just to gain it from us. Then again, that is a significant sign that we cannot take care of our own issue in our own ways and matters.
8 Calling others selfish does not make you holy
Isn’t it obvious? We call others selfish without even looking at our own selves that we are actually the ones.
9 Deciding on your own
Well, this may not be applicable in most situations but it does in some. Take for example, deciding to get a housemaid without first consulting your partner is indeed a selfish move. By doing such, we only tend to see our needs. Our opinions are the ones that matter. Decision making is important especially in relationships in order to avoid fuss.
10 They call others with weird names
This may be a normal occurrence among closed groups, peers and colleagues but we in return, must also know our boundaries. Calling others with names other than their real names tend to bring out the selfishness in us. Some may pretend that the situation is okay but we may not know that others are hurt by this type of gesture.
11 Asking for Money
Do you always ask for material things? Do you always wish you had a lot of money? Money is like a heroine—an addicting item that causes most of us to be the heir of selfishness. Thinking about monetary things at all times without even considering the actual situations surely qualifies us to have the trait. Ask yourself, “Can I live without money?” or “Is money more important than my loved ones?”
12 Being Narcissistic
I guess it would be obvious that having this trait can lead to your blooming selfishness. Thinking only of how you look, how you will perform in front of everyone causes you to only think of your own welfare. We rarely give others a chance to prove themselves. In turn, having this trait may worry others—your closest family members perhaps. In turn, we again tend to forget the effect of our actions to them.
Yes, it may be funny but if we think closely, it is the most common example to portray selfishness. The act of indulging too much while others have nothing makes you the selfish one. By this, we forget the traits of self- control and generosity.