10 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard To Please Others
It’s always good to try to make other people happy and be positive in your social life, but only up to a certain point. If you try too hard, pleasing other people can become a bad and even harmful habit. At one point, you might put your own needs on the back burner, forget about your own time, and put yourself under a lot of stress just to make sure the people around you are happy.
So, how to tell if you’re people pleaser or not? Watch out for these 10 signs.
1 You put aside your own needs and wants
Since you worry so much about other people’s feelings, you often forget to think about how you feel. You’re able to put aside your feelings and forget what you really want at the moment. In an instant, you might not even know yourself very well anymore. It can get so bad that you find it hard to talk about how you feel and decide what’s best for you.
Listen to yourself more and take time to figure out what you like and want. You can even make a list of what’s important to you and what makes you happy.
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2 You try to be like everyone else
People who try to please others too much may be afraid to show their true selves to others. Instead, they decide to go with the flow and change so that they act the same way as everyone else. They might think that if they do this, the people around them will like them more, and the area will feel more comfortable.
Instead of being a people pleaser, learn to be yourself around other people. Even if you have much in common with the people around you, try to recognize and respect your differences. You are just as fun to be around as a person with your own interests and ideas. You are special in many ways, and you don’t have to hide them.
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3 You want to be liked by everyone around you
Fear of being rejected is another trait that a lot of people-pleasers have. You are afraid that people will leave you alone if they don’t like you. So, you do everything you can to stop these things from happening. You try to do this by changing your behavior to help others, and people around you might notice this and use you.
Check to see if you are being manipulated. If people know you would do anything for them, they won’t hesitate to take advantage of this. They can try to get you to do things for them by saying things like, “But you’re the only one who can do it.” When something like this happens, it’s best to put yourself and your personal time first.
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4 It’s hard for you to say “no.”
You always help people, get things organized for them, or do them a favor. The simple reason is that you can’t say “no” to what they want. You might be afraid that they’ll get mad or think you don’t care about them if you say no. Also, when you say “no,” you get a terrible sense of guilt. Eventually, you tend to agree with everything and let people mess with your free time.
Learn how powerful it is to say “no.” At first, it might be hard, but in the end, it will be worth it. It doesn’t make you selfish to say no to something that always takes up your free time. Instead, you are being kind and respectful to yourself.
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